How To Talk About Sustainable Fashion With Friends

How to talk to friends about sustainable fashion — in a non-judgmental way — is a question I have pondered many times! Despite how passionate you are, nobody wants to be the “preachy” friend who dampens the mood with a lecture on the ills of fast fashion.

Listen to the podcast version:

Clothing is personal which makes it daunting to raise these topics. I often get the sense that friends assume that I am judging their clothing choices — even though I never am. I can almost hear the nervous laughter in response to a compliment I offered and then the nervous follow-up, “thanks, but I hate to admit that it is from H&M.”

These nerves are not helped by pervasive “sustainability shaming”, fueled by social media and the illusion of perfectly sustainable lifestyles, that makes people feel as though they will be shunned for being anything less than perfect.

Our friends influence the way we see the world and our aspirations in many ways.

So it’s important to find gentle, creative ways to welcome your friends into the conversation and the slow fashion space without creating a sense of judgment and shame.

Here are eight ideas…

Our friends influence the way we see the world and our aspirations in many ways.

1. Let Them Ask First

Instead of launching into a monologue when the mood isn’t right, wait for your friends to ask a question they are curious about. Unexpected tangents are unlikely to change their minds and they may not bring up the topic around you again.

2. Reference Your Own Journey

Remember that nervous laughter and comment about H&M that I mentioned earlier?

Instead of playing into the unspoken fear of being shamed and diving into H&M’s pitfalls, I’d say something that relates to myself and shows that I’m on an imperfect journey too:

“It looks great on you! I hope you get loads of wear out of it. It took me a while to break the habit of buying fast fashion and I know it’s not realistic for everyone. All we can do is try our best with what is accessible to us.”

Sharing your journey creates a welcoming space for honest conversations.

Sharing about your journey avoids shaming and creates a welcoming space for honest conversations.

Perhaps even make it clear that you don’t think shaming individual choices is productive when it comes to tackling systemic issues.

3. Let Your Outfit Lead

Seeing that it’s possible to wear fun — and yes, stylish — slow fashion pieces is often what makes people most curious. When a friend compliments something I’m wearing, whether it be borrowed, thrifted, swapped, from an ethical brand, or old fast fashion, I use the opportunity to share the story behind the garment and what makes it special to me.

4. Use Social Media to Inspire

I have learned a lot from the slow fashion enthusiasts that I follow online. You can do the same for your friends by reposting informative graphics, articles, podcasts, or sharing sustainable fashion influencers for style inspiration. Perhaps it will spark a conversation in the DMs or when you next meet up.

5. Balance Sharing the Realities with Positive Benefits

Many of us have experienced a moment of shock that changed how we looked at fashion forever. So it is important to create awareness and tell the truth about the devastating realities of the industry. But be mindful about not only sharing the doom and gloom.

You could balance the conversation by sharing practical, joyful ways in which slow fashion options are beneficial. For example:

Shopping less saves time and money
You can explore other hobbies and forms of therapy outside “retail therapy” that leave a more lasting positive effect
You can learn more about your personal style outside of trends and end up with a wardrobe that you love more.

6. Discuss a Fashion News Item

Bringing up a fashion news item in conversation — whether that’s a brand being called out for greenwashing or news coverage of fashion’s waste crisis — can be a great way to segue into an honest discussion about peoples’ thoughts on the matter.

7. Show Don’t Tell

Finding the “perfect moment” to bring up conversations about sustainable fashion is a difficult task. Instead, try to create a context for those conversations to come up organically.

This could mean inviting your friends on a thrifting trip, attending a clothing swap, or having a mending evening. Facts may change peoples’ minds, but experiences can shift our emotional connection to clothing and create long-term change.

8. Listen With Empathy and Ask Questions

The best way to avoid coming across as “preachy” is to practice listening and asking questions. There are many reasons why someone may not be able to make the “perfect” choice when it comes to slow fashion. This could have to do with financial access, health conditions, where they live, or sizing.

As slow fashion advocates, listening to other people’s reasoning allows us to be more empathetic and for our advocacy to be more nuanced. When talking to others, we should always be aware of our privileges and celebrate the different ways people can show up.

Remember: progress over perfection will always be the biggest win.

About the Author

Stella Hertantyo is a slow fashion and slow living enthusiast based in Cape Town, South Africa. Stella finds solace in words as a medium for sharing ideas and encouraging a cultural shift that welcomes systems change and deepens our collective connection to the world around us. She is passionate about encouraging an approach to sustainability, and social and environmental justice, that is inclusive, intersectional, accessible, and fun.

Stella holds a B.A. Multimedia Journalism from the University of Cape Town, and a PGDip in Sustainable Development from the Sustainability Institute. She currently works as a writer, editor, and social media manager. When she is not in front of her laptop, a dip in the ocean, or a walk in the mountains, are the two things that bring her the most peace.